that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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