normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
