hotel room ftw
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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