Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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