Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
