with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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