is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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