I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.