I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
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I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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