ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
