I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Apparently you make a good broom.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
