I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
