kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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