I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
