I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
