and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
