I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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