I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
