You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
