Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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