Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
