I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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