Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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