I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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