I want to stick my p in your. b.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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