We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
