Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize