I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Semen is not good for contacts.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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