i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
