Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
