Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
