Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
