ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
