operation have a gay friend backfired
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
