Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
