We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
