JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
