I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're a waste of cheezeits
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
