Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
