I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
