I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
