I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
