he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
