i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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