then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.