I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
