Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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