That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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