It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
