I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
