i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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