I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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