So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
