omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
