dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
