Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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