worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
