arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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