You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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