Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
