Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wish my penis had a tongue
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
