i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
