Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
