ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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