dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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