For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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