im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
