I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
