i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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