And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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